End of the world

I Thank God  i can still see The positive side of what I am going through

On July 2011, I was told that I will be Fired From My company. Basically, They put  it  in very polite words. they asked me to quit. 

On August I no longer have any job.

On September I got another offer  of opening a new business. So i started it. Two month of planning. Harsh busy times. With Zero experience in starting up a new  business, i had to plan it in two months.

On October Me and my Girlfriend Broke up. With a Relationship failure while in the midst of the most scariest time of my life. I also Stop leading Cell Group (W9). Stop going to leader's meeting. 

Meanwhile all these is happening to me, I also am going through a at least 3 years of Sickness. It is called Sleep Apnea - During apnea there is no movement of the muscles of respiration and the volume of the lungs initially remains unchanged. Depending on the patency of the airways there may or may not be a flow of gas between the lungs and the environment;gas exchange within the lungs and cellular respiration is not affected.

Not knowing  if  I can wake up tomorrow when I go to sleep. And sufferring the after effects of Excessive daytime sleepiness. To the extend where I fall asleep while  working, driving, and basically anytime. In short, suffering the fear of choking to death while sleeping. 

On November, a Preacher came, He prayed for people who have breathing problem. So i went out. I was told to touch my nose and throat while he pray. And  in the end, He said, tonight you will have a good night rest. 

In The second day, I woke  up with so much energy i actually forgot what is a full nights rest. I praised God and was Grateful.

It was also on November that i started Giggles Cafe. 

December, was a month busy with new  business. Spiritually not doing very well. 

To make it short, i face so many problems, again and again. almost every month. But in every trouble, God  is there for me. I might  not really notice that time. 

My spiritual life kept dropping. To the extend that  I cried every time I prayed or worship. that is also the reason where I started to stop worshiping and  praying. The more I worship the more I felt I am not worthy. I stopped worshiping and praying. I still have my short prayer with God, I also read the bible, but I just don't spend my quiet time. 
This is a spiritual downhill for me. 

As time passed, I tried putting my trust in God for  my business. However, I do not have the patience, and soon i grow weary. I stop believing that God wants me to be successful. I felt that My world  has crumbled. What do I have? Am I living  my dreams? if I am, then is it a sweet dreams or nightmare? I have nothing, I have problems, I have  debts, I have worries, Stresses and I even felt that God  is no longer with me. 

Today, I think back, during that time where I decided to start planning for the business. I told God this, "If this is your plan for  me, you help me make my investor agree to the business start up plan. Then I would go into it and my promise would be that even if I fail one day, I know  you are with me when I fail. At Least I know  God is with me  when i go into this season of  my life." My investor agreed and I know  God  is with me. We are  sure going to be successful. 

However, as time passed, I forgotten about this. To me, my world Really Crumbled, Crushed, Gone. That is the end of my world. 

My world Fell Apart!

Today as I am worshiping.The lyrics "you are my world" Really touched me.

And also this song, This is My desire's Lyrics "Lord i give u my heart, I give you my soul, I live for you alone." touched me too.

I started thinking. What happened to my world? Did it crumble?
Yes it fall apart cos my world is career, relationship, family, ministry, money, leisure, personnal target. My vission mission 2011 - 2012.
But in real, my world is God. I have made other things my world. Therefore, when everythig else fail. I thought my world failed.

So in the end. My world did not fail. Because God never fail.

So for the rest of the year. I have only one vision. Which is to get closer to my world. My god.

I want to stop surviving with strength gained from fulfilling my passion. But I want to survive with Gods strength.

Here are some bible verses if you ever need help

Hasta Luego! Cheers~

Andrew Tham

Twitter : @NdruTham

P/s: I hope this blessed all you readers. Everyone have their weakness, We should learn to accept ourselves and be what God wants us to be.
Consider this the  Reflection of mt second Quarter of 2012.